Just like the “Mommy wars” of the past several years, there are also different camps on what’s appropriate for the elder years.
In an effort to avoid “Adult care wars”, how about we look at the underlying reasons that compel is to make someone else’s very person choice wrong?
The best thing you can you do for yourself, for your elder’s needs, and for humanity at large (I’m a big thinker ;-) ) is to determine what is the most appropriate approach for your family.
Some will choose home care, taking on the bulk of the responsibilities. Whether, for financial or religious, or sense of duty, or other personal reasons, and whether or not that is even their personal preference, this is the path they find themselves walking.
Others will choose supplemental in home care, others will choose group living, institutional living, and anything in between.
There are not universal right or wrong answers, there is only what works for you and your situation.
As with all the work I do as a coach, one of the most beneficial things your can offer is your own personal development.
Question your perceptions, not as a way to imply they are “wrong”, but as a way to expand your view of the situation.
When caring for others, it’s all too easy to get into habit, which can lead to boredom, resentment, or as the old saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt.
Be kind to yourself, honor your truth, allow yourself to be where you are at any given moment.
While doing so, consider expanding your comfort zone when it comes to your relationship with your elder. Notice your habitual reactions, thoughts, and actions, and make a commitment to contemplate another way of be-ing.
Contemplate. Imagine how a situation might be altered by a simple shift in your perception. Observing your conditioned reactions.
I’ve worked with people who have made the transition from abhorrence to acceptance, then from acceptance to appreciation, then from appreciation to cherishing the very situation they previously abhorred!
If doing this on your own is daunting, I’ll soon be making available a 30 day audio program that can assist you in this shift.
And, of course, finding groups of like minded people who have the goal of living peacefully no matter the circumstances, is a great way to start. It’s just as easy to attract people who want to improve their approaches, as it is to attract people who stay stuck in old paradigms.