Ageless-Sages

Picture Books For Elders

Crabby Old Man

Written By: Natalie - Jan• 31•12

 

CRABBY OLD MAN

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in North Platte , Nebraska , it was believed that he had nothing left of any value

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem . Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital

One nurse took her copy to Missouri . The old man’s sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health.. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this ‘anonymous’ poem winging across the Internet.

Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . when you’re looking at me?
A crabby old man, . … .. not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . .. . . . . . with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . .. . . . . and makes no reply .
When you say in a loud voice .. . . . .. ‘I do wish you’d try!’
Who seems not to notice . … . the things that you do .
And forever is losing . . . . .. . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . . .. . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding The long day to fill?
Is that what you’re thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you’re not looking at me .

I’ll tell you who I am . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of Ten … . . . . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . … . . . . . who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . . .. .. . . a lover he’ll meet..
A groom soon at Twenty . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . .. . that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . . . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . .. . . . .. My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons .. . have grown and are gone,
But my woman’s beside me . . . . . . . to see I don’t mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play ’round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future … . .. . . . . . . shudder with dread..
For my young are all rearing . . . . . .. young of their own.
And I think of the years . . .. and the love that I’ve known.

I’m now an old man . . . . . .. .. . . and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. . . . . . . grace and vigor, depart..
There is now a stone . . . .. . . . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . .. . . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . . . . .. I remember the pain.
And I’m loving and living . . . . . .. . . . . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . . .. that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . . . . open and see.
Not a crabby old man. Look closer . . . see ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within . . . . we will all, one day, be there, too!

 

Operation Highjump Preview

Written By: Natalie - Oct• 25•11

A sneak peek!


Click here to order your copy of Operation Highjump
Click here to see books by Ageless-Sages.com Publishers

Dick’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve

Written By: Natalie - Jan• 31•11

One of the elders I love to listen to is my 83 yr. old father-in-law, Richard J. Miller.  We spent this past New Year’s Eve together, and shortly after midnight he declared, “I’ve now lived in 10 decades”.

He looks at the world with curiosity and marvel, something from which we can all learn, so I asked him to share what is important to him at this phase of his life.

He was quick to point out that although he has accumulated much knowledge over the years, having earned two Masters Degrees and a Doctorate, as well as all the things he studied and learned on his own, what he values more than ever is his wisdom.

At one time he looked through a lens that many of us do, wondering if the upcoming generation had what it takes to keep the world going!  At 83, he’s lived enough to know that all’s well and the “kids” in charge are doing fine.

He’s found that the key to accepting life in this way, recognizing that goodness prevails, is to “just be kind to everybody”. So simple and beautiful and yes, very wise.

After our conversation, I picked up a book called “Self-Development and the Way to Power, written in 1916, some 11 years before my f-i-l was born. The author contends that the our first job as humans is to grow, and that we grow different parts of ourselves at different stages of our lives. And as long as we are growing some part of our life, we are a vital and important part of the human cycle. And the way we know we are growing and remain a vital part of the human cycle is that we are still alive.

So whether it’s physical growth in our early years, or intellectual and emotional growth, or wisdom and spiritual growth, we are all doing our job!

Wise words, indeed.

Operation High Jump

Written By: Natalie - Jan• 20•11

Ageless-Sages is publishing its second Book for Elders! Operation High Jump: the diary of a young sailor follows Dick Miller, a 19 year old on an adventure of  a lifetime. Though now, at 83, he can’t understand why anyone would be interested in the often mundane comings and goings on Admiral Byrd’s Expedition to the Antarctic during WWII.

Here’s a sample entry:

January 8, 1947

We took the test this evening and it was a toughie. There were some questions I looked at with a blank stare such as define histerisis and paradoxas (I shot some bull but found out later that neither of them were right)

This is probably the last time I’ll be on a ship where there is an opening for Aerographers 3rd.

Mr. Oller (a LT. senior grade who was our weather officer aboard the ship) got on my fanny for eating too much and too often during working hours.  If I could get off watch to go to church maybe I would find out when Lent started so I could give up such stuff.

I’m getting real used to this life and it doesn’t bother me now.

___________________________________________

Stayed tuned for the launch of this exciting, 80 page, 4 1/2 month adventure with Dick Miller and shipmates.
Order Operation Highjump by clicking here

Most Popular Baby Names of 1919

Written By: Natalie - Dec• 15•10

Here is a list of the most popular names in the US for cuddly little infants in 1919 (Who are now 91).

My mom, Fern, born 9/9/1919,  came in at #176.

Good heavens, her presence is strong with me today. I can feel her gentle touch and her comforting manner. Love you, Momma Fern!

Anyway, on to the most popular baby names in the US in 1919

Male/Female

1 John /Mary

2 William /Helen

3 James /Dorothy

4 Robert /Margaret

5 Charles /Ruth

6 George /Mildred

7 Joseph /Virginia

8 Edward/ Elizabeth

9 Frank /Frances

10 Thomas /Anna

11 Walter /Evelyn

12 Richard /Marie

13 Harold /Alice

14 Raymond /Florence

15 Paul /Betty

16 Henry /Irene

17 Donald /Lillian

18 Albert /Doris

19 Arthur /Rose

20 Harry /Louise

21 Jack /Gladys

22 Ralph /Edna

23 Willie /Catherine

24 Howard /Ruby

25 Clarence /Martha

Archived Aging

Written By: Natalie - Dec• 10•10

(This was written for Bliss Magazine 2 yrs ago)

Today I watch my 20something daughters pack for the great unknown that marks the beginning of their adulthood.  On the other channel, my 89 year-old mother is living in the great unknown of dementia marking the end phase of her adulthood.  And  at 50, I am in that midrange,  seeing the world from a point of reference which encompasses perspectives that seem, at times, conflicting.

Do I want to be 20 again?  Honestly, no. Those years were, in some aspects, hay days, glory days, life affirming days.  In other ways they felt frighteningly uncertain and depressing and impertinent. Yet I can recall with nostalgic charm that being 20 in the 80’s was pretty rad. Live-in boyfriends, The Clash, job hopping, the launch of MTV, a time of political conservatism that collided with the liberal views of my contemporaries, a time to ignore the warning on the cigarette box. Moisturizer?  Sure, skin care was important, but I remember many a night climbing into bed without having first exfoliated.

And I thought I didn’t wear a swimsuit well THEN! Oh mercy.

And the great unknown! Where would I live?  What kind of career was I interested in pursuing? Would I marry?  Have children? Here one day, there the next!  I can feel the excitement welling up as I write!

But do I want to be 20 again? No.

In some ways, my current phase has just as many questions, maybe in some ways the same questions.  Will I sell the house and move to smaller dwelling? What direction will my career take?  If my daughters choose parenthood, what will it be like to be a grandparent?  Here one day, there the next is a bit more calculated now, yet still resides in my wanderlust spirit.

And do I want to stay 50 forever?  Honestly, no. There is something about the human lifecycle that makes sense to me.  And I must say I do appreciate my ever changing, growing and expansive perspective.  I can relax more and commune with my spirit in a more profound way.  The rushing around and have-tos have been replaced with blissful meditation and want-tos.  I’ve learned to say “no” gracefully and not give a thought to what others think of me.  And even with exfoliating and moisturizing regularly, it’s freedom, baby!

When my mother turned 80, there were many things I was suddenly considering that hadn’t been a part of life previously. Where will she live? What will she need from her children? Will keeping her mind and body active matter to her?  Here one day………gone the next?   The hardest part to work through was knowing how, when, or if to intervene with her decisions.  Having no frame of reference for what it’s like to be 80 I could only make intuitive guesses.  My intuition told me to trust her intuition.  And even in her changed state of cognition, she still has the wisdom and insight to know when to defer to someone else’s judgment and when to follow her own compass.

So to my daughter’s I say, go, enjoy each luscious phase of life. It’s both too short and too long to not follow your compass. Trust in yourself as much as I trust in you.

(Note: My mother passed Oct 12, 2010 at the tender age of 91. Her dementia was truly a gift and I grew closer to her and relished her aging the last few years of her life than I ever would have imagined!)

Love love love…..

Written By: Natalie - Dec• 08•10

In the Baemba tribe of South Africa, when a person acts irresponsibly or unjustly, he is placed in the center of the village, alone and unfettered. All work ceases, and every man, woman, and child in the village gathers in a large circle around the accused individual. Then each person in the tribe speaks to the accused, one at a time, about all the good things the person . . . has done in his lifetime. All his positive attributes, good deeds, strengths, and kindnesses are recited carefully and at length. The tribal ceremony often lasts several days. At the end, the tribal circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the person is symbolically and literally welcomed back into the tribe.

Alice Walker

Hospital Psychosis

Written By: Natalie - Nov• 28•10

(This was first published over three years ago, when my mother was hospitalized for a short stint. I thought it was worth repeating after reading Chris Bohjalian’s Thanksgiving article.)

Hospital Psychosis can ruin your whole day.

There always seems to be grist for the writing mill after a visit to my mother’s. Her nursing home has been a playground of new friendships, a place to extract wisdom by the bucket loads and an opportunity to enrich the lives of the staff, the residents and myself through off-the-record coaching conversations.

This visit found my mother weak from a week of limited food and liquid intake, as she battled her way through C-Diff. A trip to the hospital was in order.

After a couple of days of observation and tests, the conclusion was simple: The antibiotic she had been prescribed was the culprit. This was a quick and easy fix, so I decided to return home after having been on the road for a week.

The four hour drive went quickly, as the fall foliage of New England kept me visually occupied. Three hours into catching up in the comfort of my home I was interrupted by a call from my two sisters who remained bed-side with my mother.

“We’re not sure what is going on, but you might want to come back. Although she’s doing well physically, she is not in her right mind.” This reminded my eldest sister of the day, a year ago, that my step-father passed away. Before slipping into a coma, he spent time within an imaginary world of old friends and situations, ordering us to be careful picking up a mirror and instructing us to buy a round of drinks for the bar customers. Although amusing, we recognized this was the end for him, and it provided some very bitter-sweet memories.

Luckily, I had yet to unpack my car, so a fill-up for the gas tank and a strong coffee for me at the service station was all I really needed to be on my way.

When I arrived, my sisters were heavy with concern and fatigue. My mother, though insisting I be there, had no idea that I was. She eyed me suspiciously when I told her I loved her and her biggest concern was looking for a baby that lived only in her imagination. A usually restful eighty-eight year old, she had been awake since 6am spouting gibberish.

It wasn’t until an hour or so before I arrived that my sisters got an answer – Hospital Psychosis. My middle sister and I looked this up in the hospital database and discovered “A hospital’s environment can be extremely stressful for patients, especially those who depend upon familiar surroundings for their overall peace of mind. The combination of noisy medical equipment, unfamiliar surroundings and disorienting light cues can lead to a frightening condition known as hospital psychosis. Sufferers of hospital psychosis often report sensory hallucinations, slurred or confused speech and/or pronounced memory loss.”

Although this alleviated many of our concerns (was she having a stroke? Is there such a thing as rapid onset Alzheimer’s? Will she recover from whatever this is?), we were baffled that we had not been warned of this prior to her visit to the hospital or that it took the questioning of several hospital employees before receiving a possible explanation. Though none of the staff seemed concerned throughout the day, they were unable to provide a reason for my mother’s obvious loss of a rational mind.

If you are helping with the care of an elder, be aware of the possibility of this condition. Though temporary, if you are not informed of this fairly common occurrence, it can indeed ruin your whole day, or in the case of my incoherently babbling mother, well into the night!

She fell into a fitful sleep around 11pm. We were pleased to find her alert the following morning, ready to be released and resume her normal life. And my sisters and I are strongly suggesting to the nursing home and hospital administrations that this information be shared as a matter of course.

Chat with Christine Louise Hohlbaum

Written By: Natalie - Nov• 19•10

Christine, the author of, among others, The Power of Slow, had a chat with me just a week after my mother passed, and suggested we dedicate our talk in honor of her. ;-)

Press the Play arrow below and you’re good to go. Slow.


The Donna Reed Show

Written By: Natalie - Nov• 19•10

As you might know by now, my work as a coach and my subsequent research on what causes dis-ease tends towards metaphysical. From my perch, it makes the most sense, provides the most consistent explanations and the corresponding approaches have indisputable results.

So when my conversation with the founder of several elder care residences turned to causes of Dementia and Alzheimer’s, it made perfect sense to me that statistics point to an increase of these dis-eases. My mind immediately highlighted the changes that people born in the early 1900′s have endured in their lifetime. The world has gotten rapidly complex in a short amount of time. “Refusal to deal with the world as it is” perfectly aligns with what people with Dementia tend toward: Not having to deal with the world as it is.

There are so many aspects of change to point to, but the one I’ll go into here is the one that awoke me at 4:00am and is the reason I’m writing this in the first place. Although my conversation yesterday went into the recognition that WWII played a huge part in the lives of people of that generation, so did the invention of television. Suddenly, men and women had Ozzie and Harriet to compare themselves to, and I’ll be many of the felt they fell short. Suddenly, there’s a whole new way to feel bad about yourself. If religion and the Victorian era left any stone unturned, here comes America’s perfect family role models to finish off the job. Now, certainly there is some great good that comes from this anything. I’m just pointing out one of the myriad changes that likely contributed to some people’s refusal to deal with the world as it is.

I would hope this is good news. The more aware we become of possible causations to our individual and collective unrest, the better equipped we are to make the changes that will create the reality we want!

Let’s use this information to create that better future for ourselves. For more information on connecting thoughts with dis-ease see Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life, Deb Shapiro’s You Body Speaks Your Mind and this website about metaphysical causes of illness.