Ageless-Sages

Your mind races anxiously to the future. It basks in the comfort of the past. How will we cope? What does this mean for everyone involved? How will I feel when they no longer know me?

It would be unusual to not have a reaction like that to news that indicates your beloved parent/spouse/sibling/friend is facing this profound change.

But where do you go from there? After the realization, the procsessing, the shock. All too often, people don’t move past the sadness they feel. This has dire consequences for……………………everyone.

Tension increases, patience is tried, depression, loneliness and hopelessness prevail.

Once enjoyable visits focus on what isn’t there anymore and become burdensome. Guilt creeps in.  Resignation. “This is how it is”, you tell yourself. “I can’t change it”.

It’s not this truth that creates your sadness. In fact, it’s this truth than can bring you peace, if you let it.

You have the power to choose how you approach this. When you begin to question your choice of feeling bad about dementia, you can begin the process of understanding that you can feel good, I mean really really good, about it.  There are gifts in everything we experience. It’s up to you to seek out those gifts.

This may feel like an insurmountable voyage at this point. It’s not.

I’m not going to suggest you take this “one step at a time” as convention wisdom tells us. I’m going to suggest you approach this with all the strength of your being.

You choose your thoughts. You have the power to change your current choices.

How is feeling bad serving you? Others? What benefits are derived from being devastated?

Please consider these questions from the point of view of your highest consciousness.  You have the love and wisdom within you to create peace in all areas of your life.  You have the ability to shine your light and model this for others.

Here’s one way to shift your feelings:

• Assess your current feelings/reactions/fears about this situation. Assess, don’t analyze.  Be real.
• Close you eyes, as you feel your way through this.
• If you feel like you’re about to cry, attune to the energy that is moving through your body just before the point of tears. 
• Follow the energetic sensation with your full attention. Leave no room for thought.
• Stay there until you have fully accepted this energy as part of  you.
• Now take a deep breath and state, aloud, your new intention.

Stay with it. Write it, record it, read it daily!  Be kind to yourself, let your kindness flow to others.

For more ways to create and retain a frame of mind that will naturally guide you through this and all the challenges you face in your life, visit Ageless-Sages.com.

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Expand Your Comfort Zone with Elders

As we get older and the patterns of communication we have with our parents might feel like a law of physics: An irresistible force meeting an immovable object.

If your relationship with your elder parent continues to bring frustration and you’d prefer it didn’t, what can you do to change the pattern?

I’ve been giving a lot of thought lately to the idea of creative deconstruction.  What’s not working that you haven’t previously considered? Do you engage in the same types of conversation time and again? Why would you expect the outcome to be different?

Do you think the other person “needs to change”? What needs to change within you so that you don’t  have the need for someone else to change?

Changing the laws of physics is not possible. Changing the equation, however, is.

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Elder Insights

It’s called a Blog Carnival and you can access several posts geared to the issues that are important to you!

Blog Carnival Click Here

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Elder Insights

This is all you need to know. Ever.

Ruth Hamilton’sVlog

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Elder Insights

This time of year we hear a lot about resolutions, what’s ahead for us, how to move forward. Today I had a conversation with a dear friend and colleague, founder of Lead Your Life, LLC, Diane Krause-Stetson. She informed me that her plan for the new year was to look backward. Instead of going for the next hot concept, the myriad innovative ways people will sell us on how to create a business/have a happier life/, she’s decided to put a moratorium on finding new things.  She’s perusing her bookshelves and files and workbooks to look for the nuggets of wisdom that she may have overlooked in the past.

It’s a brilliant idea and one we don’t think of often enough.  Other than learning about brand new technology that comes along, there really isn’t a whole lot of new information out there. It’s the same ideas recycled, repackaged, retold in ways that can strike us differently depending on the day, the time, the circumstances of our lives.

Besides, the amount of information we are capable of processing at one time is finite.  You know how you see or experience something new each time you watch a movie or visit the same place? Imagine all that was overlooked the first time you read “Love is the Killer App” or “Permission Marketing”. Even reading “Lavender Ladies” will reveal something new each time.

So this new year, I’m looking back.  Back on my bookshelf, back in my video cabinet, back to my files on my hard drive to discover the gold that I passed by the first time.

I’ll let you know what I learn.  And I’ll ask Diane for her list, as well.

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Elder Insights

There’s a huge distinction between choosing positive and denying negative.  One empowers, the other, at the very least, confuses.

Here’s an example of difference in the case of an elder relative’s changing needs. In fact, that statement is an example.  Choosing the phrase “changing needs” is choosing a positive view of the situation, as opposed to a negative view of “declining”.  I’m choosing to see this as changing needs and doing so helps to keep me in a proactive frame of mind to look for modifications.

Now if I were denying the negative, I would be more apt to avoid or overlook what needs to be done because I am not allowing myself to see the changing needs. The opposite of denying the negative is not necessarily seeing the positive. Changing needs might not even be on my radar, because I am focused on avoidance rather than viewing the situation as it is.

The first example puts me in action, will get results.  The second example doesn’t allow for action, because there is nothing to be modified if I deny it’s existence.

When you choose to be positive about a situation that others see as “bad” or “negative”, you have accomplished several things.

• You feel better about what is happening because you see solutions
• The people in your care feel confident and reassured
• Positive energy is replenishing, where negative is draining, so you automatically create more “hours” in your day

The importance of this distinction is so you can create situations that are uplifting and nourishing while tending to what needs to be addressed.

So go forth and choose positive.  You don’t have to deny a thing when you’re pro-active.

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Elder Insights